Sunday, February 5, 2012

If Married Men Love Their Wives, Why Do They Cheat?

If Married Men Love Their Wives, Why Do They Cheat?-Questions

I often write about getting past an affair in order to save your marriage and I have a blog where I share my own story of having to do the same. One of the most base comments or questions that I get is "how can men who love their wives cheat? Why do they do this? How can these things happen at the same time, because if he in fact loved me, he wouldn't have cheated." This is a somewhat loaded question, but in this article, I will offer up what I think are the answers because, in my experience, men who have had affairs in fact can and often do still love their wives - they are just incredibly good at separating one thing from another and compartmentalizing - in a way that women often can not.

Questions

Why Married Men Cheat, (Even Though They May Still Love Their Wives): I used to think that affairs were all about sex, a mid life crises, or recapturing a man's youth. I've since learned that this is often not the case. There are some studies which indicate that men overwhelmingly cheat for emotional reasons - and not physical ones.

This means it's not all about hot sex with a pretty young thing - it's about feeling understood, valued, appreciated, and desirable. In truth, men are seeking the same things that we all want. But, the distinction is that men's communication skills are often lacking - so much so that often they don't even know that they are doing this.

Unfortunately, their brain doesn't say to them: "man, I am in fact feeling unappreciated, lonely, and vulnerable. I need to discuss this with my wife and ask for more of her time, affection, and validation." Instead, they just start feeling incredibly dissatisfied and restless, and they don't know why but they want this to stop. Then, unfortunate circumstances and opportunity present themselves to originate the perfect storm. So, more often than not, these set of circumstances work together to place them at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Very often (more than I can tell you) men do not wake up in the morning reasoning "Ok, today's the day that I'm going to have an affair," or "alright, I've decided to cheat on my wife." Rather, it just happens without their stopping for a second to think about it, they get caught up in it, and they deeply regret it later, but unfortunately, can not take it back.

Why The Woman He Cheated With Probably Isn't Prettier, Sexier, Or More Desirable Than You: I can not tell you how often women tell me "I pictured the other woman to be young, cute, sexy, etc., but she isn't these things at all. I'm prettier than her. What in the world does / did he see in this woman?" There is a well known study which indicates that only roughly 10% of married men found the "other woman" more desirable than their wives. Most men know that their wives are better.

So, what in the world is the attraction? The way that she was able to make him feel about himself. Men miss the feeling that they had when the two of you first met. Again, they want the same things we all do - to feel desirable, alive, attractive, appreciated, and understood.

Mistresses are often very skilled at development a husband feel this way and they'll often present themselves in a lighthearted "no strings attached" sort of way that will lure a husband into reasoning that there are no repercussions. But, for husbands who make the mistake or looking this woman more than once, after a while, her horns will show. The "other woman" will often mess up when she begins to make more demands of his time, his attention, and his intentions, forcing a husband to "wake up" and see what a grave mistake he has in fact made.

The Affair Is Over, And I Want To Save My Marriage, But I Just Can't Move On. How Do I Know He Still Loves Me?: I hear this so often. It's so hard for women to believe that the affair can't happen again and that their husband still desires and truly loves them. Many wonder or confidentially fear that he's just putting on a show because he got caught.

Hopefully this description can show that an affair and love for a wife can coexist since men are masters at compartmentalizing, but it's also leading that you get what you need to heal. Make sure that your husband is remorseful, accountable, responsible, reassuring, available, and open to listen to your needs. However, you too have a responsibility to tell what you need from him.

This was very difficult for me personally. On the exterior my husband was doing "everything right," but I was still stuck. One day, I realized that part of the guess I was stuck was because I feared our relationship wasn't "exciting enough," and that I wasn't getting enough spontaneous affection to be reassured. But, I never told my husband this. And, he was afraid of doing these things for fear or appearing pushy or dissatisfied. But, once I told him these things and gave him the "all clear," things improved dramatically.

It's also vital that you give yourself permission to restore and heighten your self esteem. Because if you don't find yourself lovable, sexy and desirable, how can you in fact believe this of your husband? This is what in fact turned the angle for me. I went back to school, worked on my weight, ate healthfully, changed my appearance for the better, dressed more attractively, and fixed some flaws that bothered me and lessened my self esteem. I could not help but consideration further concentration I received from both men and women and, as silly as this sounds, this "proved" to me that I was in fact, desirable and worthwhile. Once I was able to do this, I was able to believe that not only could my husband desire and want me, he was crazy if he didn't - because I was a worthwhile person.

It's very leading that you see yourself as a whole, attractive, and worthy person. When I am honest with myself, I was not at this point before the affair, but luckily, I am there now. You may have been there before, and now just need to return to this place. Or maybe, like me, you were never there. But, in order to in fact move on, you must get there. And, I promise, either you stay married or not, you will happier as a woman once you do.

Understand that one act, by two habitancy (neither of whom was you) does not convert who you are. You are still the person you were before the affair, and you can overcome this and come to be even better, if you chose to do so. Don't let this beat you. Take performance and I promise, you'll find that you are stronger than you think.

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Art trainer Interview Questions

Art trainer Interview Questions-Questions

When interview committees and principals interview art teachers, they're finding for person who can join together with the whole culture of the school. They're finding for a person who empowers students to generate beautiful artwork, has a nearnessy in extra-curricular activities, and can effectively administrate students in a classroom full of messy, sloppy supplies. An art program is often the proud centerpiece of a school's curriculum and schools want to fill that position with the most competent art instructor available.

Questions

Interviewing is stressful for any candidate. My best guidance is to be prepared with a faultless teaching folder and to practice base interview questions beforehand. While you don't need to relate what you'll say word-for-word, it's not a bad idea to put in order yourself by reasoning about your responses to general questions that will be asked.

Art instructor candidates can expect the common, general instructor interview questions:

- Tell us about yourself.

- What are your strengths and weaknesses?

- How to you integrate technology into your teaching?

- How do you meet the needs of extra instruction students?

- How do you chronicle with parents?

But, when hiring art teachers, principals and interview committees have high expectations and often establish more specialized questions. Below are some base questions (and suggestions for answering them) for art instructor interviews:

1. chronicle some ways you present and display student work throughout the school and throughout the community.

Whether you like it or not, the art instructor is often responsible for setting the decor of the whole school. You'll likely be responsible for holding the halls full of student work and updating displays on a regular basis. You'll be the one they turn to when they want a mural painted on the gymnasium wall. They'll run to your room when it's time to set up the annual display in the district office building. And, when the community art show comes around, you'll be the one that is predicted to coordinate it. When it's time to generate the annual district events calendar, you know they'll be turning to the art instructor for a variety of high-quality student work samples. Art teachers have a Huge responsibility face of general teaching. You need to reassure the interview committee that you're aware of these responsibilities and are excited to take on these challenges.

2. Show us pictures of your work as an artist.

You should have your teaching folder with you at an interview. Since you're an artist, your folder should consist of pictures of your own artwork, in increasing to chapter plans and student artwork. Be sure the works you show the committee are acceptable for a school setting. Don't show them your most recent nude sketch or a violent scene. Keep the article of the material in your folder light, upbeat, and positive.

3. chronicle some of the art projects your students have loved.

This is a easy question. chronicle your "best work" as a teacher. In other words, you're finding to tell them about project that was absorbing to the students, educational in terms of artistic development, and well-received by others when it was displayed. Pass colse to some pictures of this chapter from your teaching portfolio!

4. How can you make the most of a small budget for art supplies?

Many school districts can't offer you huge amounts of money for art projects. construe that you're a natural deal shopper. You'll all the time seek out the best deals on art supplies.

You should remind the interviewer of your no-waste philosophy. You don't let kids throw away big scraps of paper that can be used again. You'll try to unclog those stuffed up glue bottles, rather than throw them away.

Also, let them know that you can make artwork from simple, everyday household objects. Maybe you know how to make Christmas ornaments from light bulbs or you can turn empty soup cans into lanterns.

5. How can you join together your activities in the art room into lessons taught within other subject areas?

You can easily join together art to communal Studies by teaching cultural art. Example: If students are learning about Australia, you can teach kids to make Aboriginal Dot Paintings in art. You can also join together art to historical themes by production connections with art history. You can also tie into Reading and Writing by teaching kids to chronicle and critique artwork.

6. Why do you think art is an foremost part of a child's education?

This answer, will of course, vary from person to person. Some things you might want to think about: Art is a small, but foremost part of a well-rounded instruction program. Art teachers stimulate students' imaginations, by encouraging them to express themselves creatively. Art teachers establish students' self-esteem, by allowing them to eye other talents they may have that go beyond the rest of the school's curriculum. And art teachers help students to great accept the world in which they live by absorbing them to view things in distinct ways.

7. Art teachers have a unique set of classroom supervision challenges because you see so many kids for such a short time-- what would you do when a kid is off-task, unmotivated, or not participating in a lesson?

The most efficient way of avoiding behavioral problems is to keep students interested, involved, and engaged from the occasion they walk into your room to the occasion they leave. It is important to have classroom rules posted clearly in your classroom. Routines are important-- kids should know where to sit, when to get materials, what the clean up procedures are. As the teacher, you must impose the rules and routines consistently each and every day.

Hopefully, you use inevitable reinforcement to encourage the best behaviors. You praise your students' efforts often, and you offer constructive commentary in a inevitable way. When kids do misbehave, it's best to cope situations on your own, when possible. (Only the most severe cases of disruption or violence should be sent to the office.) Taking away privileges or responsibility is often an efficient recipe for managing classroom behavior problems.

8. Art is an elective, which means you'll have to promote student interest in your courses. How will you do this?

This demand is for candidates that are interviewing for high school art positions. The simplest reply to construe how you engage students in worthwhile art activities. The final projects come out so beautifully that students are proud of their work, see their talent, and have a strong desire to generate more!

Happy interviewing!

For more instructor interview questions, I ask you to download my eBook Getting the Teaching Job of Your Dreams ( http://www.iwantateachingjob.com ). In it you will find 50 base interview questions and answers as well as practical guidance for getting the teaching job you want.

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